Your hand is too fucking fat to fit into the Pringles can,
so you are forced to tilt it.
The Domino's pizza tracker isn't working,
and you're not sure when to put your pants on.
You're trying to text at a red light,
but you keep hitting them all green.
You forgot to bring your phone in with you while taking a dump,
and you were unbearably bored the whole time.
You turn on Jerry Springer, and two of the guests are former lovers.
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